Viagra: What Do Women Have To Say On It?

How Viagra affects a life in a couple

So, is the female population happy with the drug designed to bring back the sexuality of their spouses? Madame Dole, the wife of US senator Bob Dole, certainly is. But Madame Bernardo is not at all. Her husband Frank, a real estate developer in New York, left a note on the pillow two days after taking Viagra: “I’m leaving. It’s time for me to become a real man again.” So, not all women are thankful to Viagra.

“I received a couple. The woman insisted that her husband solve his impotence problems. He took Viagra. Then he left for another woman,” says another sexologist. The drug is not supposed to make relationships work, only to solve erectile dysfunction, which affects one in four men.

Women are sometimes quite ill-informed about male physiology. If her partner has a breakdown, a woman will immediately think that he no longer wants her, or that he is with someone else. However, the erection does not depend only on desire.

Some women show reluctance towards Viagra because they consider the drug as a chemical competitor. It is essential that a man comes to consultation with his partner – there are, after all, two people are involved in lovemaking. But to talk about these things together, you still have to overcome a lot of embarrassment. Men, for the most part, come to consult sexologists alone. Not everyone tells their partner that they are taking Viagra. Men don’t like to recognize their weaknesses very much.

The blue pill makes it possible to lengthen and improve the sexual life of men. Their partners would therefore have every reason to rejoice? Yes, but the women who rejoice are those for whom their partner’s erectile dysfunction was a major problem, and a recent phenomenon.

Among the women who do not see a very good thing about the arrival of Viagra, we find those who have never really liked sex that much. Those, too, who have a n overzealous husband and who say that he would not calm down. Others, finally, have developed a sex life outside of the couple, they have a lover, and no longer want to make love with their husband. There are all kinds of reasons.

Some fear that Viagra will wake up the noon demon in their companion. How grounded are these fears? This medication revises the couple’s data in an extraordinary way. It took time for women to adapt when Viagra was a novelty. At menopause, not all women take hormone therapy yet and suffer from vaginal dryness. So many women had got used to the absence of sexuality. All of a sudden, after ten, fifteen years of abstinence, their partner discovered Viagra, and wanted to do it again… For them, it was the shock of the return of sexuality and they do not all live through it very well. The women today do not face this lag. The man immediately takes the treatment to remedy the first breakdowns and, in the couple, sexuality does not experience parenthesis.

Annie, a 39-year-old woman from Hampstead, convinced her boyfriend to go see a sexologist. “I work in the medical community. Sexuality is something that I easily tackle. My friend was completely depressed by his troubles. When I met him, he had just gone through an extremely difficult period. Before, he was a business owner, with a wife, children, and a beautiful house. Then his business collapsed, and his wife left. The problem of helplessness was especially terrible for him. In those moments, it was emptiness, fear. He said he was no longer good for anything, that he had lost everything. He has been happy since taking Viagra. He feels more confident.”

One thing that Annie finds disparaging is the lack of spontaneity in the sexual act. The tablet should be taken in advance which puts some kind of a damper on the natural initiatives.

For Jean and Mark, it’s a great story. “I think Viagra is a miracle,” says Jean who is a 63-year-old Duluth retiree. Her partner Mark is also retired and he is 62. Both Jean and Mark are widowed, and they met at the home of mutual friends. The little blue pill changed their story.

“At the very beginning of our relationship, Mark told me that he had been powerless since his wife departed. I thought it was a psychological problem. And I told myself, in my heart of hearts, that I would make it my business. I have always enjoyed sex life a lot. With my husband, it was something very important. I would say that it represented 75% of attraction in the life of our couple.”

But Jean’s charm was not enough to unblock the situation. “I had the impression that Mark was attracted to me. But it didn’t work. All my talent did nothing, and that made me very sorry. It is true that we women always think that if a man has a disorder, it is because he does not want us. I finally understood that it was a mechanical matter.”

Jean and Mark went to see doctors. Mark underwent several treatments. Ineffective. Then they ended up meeting a sex therapist who prescribed Mark Viagra. They had just planned a trip to Egypt. It was there, in the dream setting of a beautiful hotel, that Mark took his first blue pill.

“Mark is a very anxious type. It always takes a while to put him at his ease and in the mood for fun. But there, with the warm sea, the climate, it worked.”

Viagra is effective in 70% of cases. For the couple, especially the generation of babyboomers, it is a revolution, and a new hope for intimacy, but not a guarantee of emotional closeness. Viagra is not a miracle cure, nor is the household glue. But a spare tire for love.